Monday, August 24, 2009

God Bless the USPS

To avoid the explosion of my Post Office induced brain aneurysm and distract myself from what is sure to be a Grade A temper tantrum, I'm going to turn to my new amusement, the Matress Ranch commercial. I'm sorry, I'm not talented enough to embed the video but click the link. Do it! (don't forget to hit the back button after) Now whenever you're as pissed off at the world (or just a ridiculously inefficient and outdated bureaucracy staffed by a bunch of mouth breathing morons such as the USPS) as I am right now, you can watch the Mattress Ranch Dance.
My friends Kelly and Mike got stationed in Fairbanks right about the time I started "negotiations" for the job here. They kept tellng me about this commercial but since I'm obsessed with the Travel Channel and National Geographic, I never change the channel much. That is, until this weekend when I was stuck at home in a new and beautiful place because the extra chromosome crowd at the PO can't seem to get their heads out of their asses and I therefore have no keys to my mailbox which means I have made no deposits into the bank account and could not even spare the gas it would take to find just one of those brain dead retards and run them over. Ok, like I said, no temper tantrums. But, if you comment on my lack of syntactic skill, I'll file you in my brain with kyphotic government employees who wear yellow suspenders that look like rulers and have female pattern baldness. So there. Now I have to go practice the Mattress Dance because Kelly and Mike are coming to visit for Labor Day Weekend and I need to have it down when they walk in the door. Wait...Nooooooo. I mean the Mattress RANCH Dance. Sickos.

PostScript: After watching this 20 times I'm thinking maybe he has Chorea and I shouldn't be laughing so much.?

3 comments:

kathryn said...

OH... when you said Kelly and Mike earlier I thought you meant UNCLE Mike and Kelly. Kelly and Mike makes MUCH more sense.

debacled said...

that swollen lymph node is eating your brain.

Kelly said...

Get more sleep without countin' sheep
and have another nite of bliss...
On Old Steese Highway in Fairbanks is where we is...
Save more bucks at the Mattress Ranch!!
Doo dooo doo do!!