My Life as an SLP

No, not wabbit. It's rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrabbit. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRabbit!




My least favorite aspect of speech pathology. But, I got an application for the hospital today so there's a chance for a change of focus, at least for the summer.

Winter Beach Walk

How am I supposed to get over my crush on this place?
















Looks like tide pools but it's pure ice.








After a couple hours of paperwork on Sunday, I went for a beach walk. I couldn't help but think how the experience could be so much better with someone to share it with. Someone with four legs, a wagging tail and soulful eyes. I let the fantasy rot my brain for the entire weekend before bringing myself back to reality. I reminded myself that that someone would also shed, shit, possibly shred belongings and definitely ruin my streak of commitment dodging. I'm telling myself I'm cured but in reality, I'm on very shaky ground.

Tustamena 200

It's a 200 mile sled dog race on the Kenai and a qualifier for the Iditarod. If, like Big Sister, you've never heard of the Iditarod, you need to get your head out of your ass and watch more of the History Channel.
Here are some photos I managed to take even though my fingers were burning as the frostbite started to settle in. It was a clear, gorgeous day but at 0 degrees, you better have some good gloves. I did not but I wish I had some of these...

















Alaskan fashion in action!

Bright Lights, Big City

Went to Anchorage last weekend. Maggie O'Connell and I made the three hour drive on Friday night. It's light now 'til about 5:30 so we got a good chunk of it done before dark. Although not enough to keep me from driving into oncoming traffic at one point. Oops.
Had dinner with her friends who were preparing for a 25 mile bike race through a blizzard the next day. Who does that? I have never, ever had many athletic friends and was a little intimidated at being in a roomful of "those types." So impressive.
Then met up with a new friend (good things can come of on-line dating sites). We went with his co-worker to the best gay bar in Anchorage. There are two gay bars in Anchorage.
Between the drag queens, the gaysians doing cheers and the awesome fashion choices, I felt so at home. I could've stayed all night just watching people of all different persuasions doing what they do.
The next day I went to a real mall. In my town, there's only one place to go if you want to go clothes shopping so a mall is a BIG deal. I hit about three stores before I was completely over-stimulated and needed a nap. So old.
When Kelly and Mike got there (6 hr drive from Fairbanks!!), we went to Humpy's Alehouse for dinner and then....on to the BEER FEST! 60 breweries +a tiny glass + a book full of drink tickets = heaven. The best beers were a coffee porter from Midnight Sun brewery and a chocolate stout from Rogue brewery. Total awesomness! I have to go now because Dirty Jobs is on and my boyfriend is in Alaska doin' weird things to a moose.

Life's Most Persistent and Urgent Question

On the way to work I like to listen to National Public Radio. This morning, listening to reports on conditions in Haiti, I was pretty much in tears by the time I got to my school. Then I ran into this MLK quote someone had posted in the staff bathroom:“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"
I'm helping in a small way by donating to Doctors Without Borders but I just wish I could do more. Am I actually answering the question or am I just redirecting it?

And it gets better

Subject line: u r very
Body: pretty


Really? Thanks! Was this your favorite profile picture of me?

Some of these guys sure don't need a whole lot of encouragement.

Update on Online "Dating"

I gotta get off this thing. It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Here's the latest.

Subject line: Just got home from a long walk in the woods ...

Body: ...and feeling way relaxed at the moment, not tempted to write a lot now, but perhaps a good bit more later, particularly if you think you'd like that.

At 6'3" (that's my height) I would love to stand next to you and look into your eyes. Hence, I'd love to meet you. I could put the truck on cruise control and be there pretty easily, someday. Well, almost any day for that matter. I have friends around there and on down to Homer. I can be a lot of fun or more laid back. I'm very sensual, and I've gotta admit that I've always wanted to spend some time with someone I could touch nose to nose and toes to toes at the same time.

Did I mention he's only 59? Is your skin crawling like mine is? My profile says I'm looking for friends and activity partners. Sounds like this guy is thinking more horizontal activities.

I had an amazing weekend in Anchorage but I'm so freaking tired I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Goodnight.

I decided to fore go the pilot ground school since I want to go to Vancouver for the Olympics next month and I kinda need some dough. However, I'll still be taking the fly fishing course. I really don't think Brad Pitt will show up on the river this summer, but just in case, I want to be prepared.
Speaking of dough, flights out of the frozen tundra are so ridiculously expensive. Going to Vancouver is going to cost about $750. Then there's Fairbanks in March and Cabo in May. It's no wonder my savings account is laughable. And no wonder I need a summer job. Got a lead on one today. Census work. I hear it's quite an experience. There's a chance I could end up flying in to some bush communities, if I pass the alphabetizing and simple math test. We'll see about that.
This weekend I'm going to blow through some more money at the Beer and Barley Wine Festival in Anchorage. I read there's always a solid showing of brewers from all over Alaska and "the outside." Can't wait!

Snowshoeing

Have to buy some new boots for tomorrow's trails. Hopefully the blister that started today won't keep me from going out.

Continuing Education

The week in review:
I stressed myself out over my job. I worked a lot of hours. I wasted too much time on the internet. What's new?
I changed my part in the hopes that the "pepper" would stop showing. I changed it back when the "salts" started winning. I got a gigantic, soul refreshing hug from one of my preschoolers.
Got a tip on a summer job in the medical speech arena, something I've really been wanting. Realized it's kind of lame to be internet dating (I've been on one date) when I don't even want a boyfriend and decided to do something more constructive with my time soooooooooooo....
Here's the best thing that's ever happened to me this week-- I registered for a fly fishing class and pilot ground school. I'm so excited!
Oh goodness! I almost forgot about the other best thing that happened this week. I went to Chicken University, a class about raising chickens, and it was so damn entertaining and interesting. My friend and I agreed, way better than spending 10 bucks on some dumb ass movie. I'm not quite ready to raise chickens in my tiny apartment but when the day comes that I finally realize my dream of a piece of land, I'll be getting some cock and a few girls for sure.

I Juggle and Play the Harp

So I've told you all how quiet life is here. Not much interaction with the fellas, that's for sure. I really don't know where that "100 men for every woman" thing came from because I'm here to tell you, it's just not true. Maybe it's because I work in the schools and hang out in the kind of places that attract 60 year olds who look like ZZ Top, but I'm not detecting any eligible bachelors in the area.
So, I decided to join one of those on-line dating sites. I've been alternately recommending that friends join them and then making endless fun of them when they do for quite awhile now. When my friend joined Match a few months ago, I sang "Everlasting Love" every time I saw her. I texted, e-mailed, voicemailed and Facebooked her the lyrics everyday for weeks. Now I'm just another looser justifing endless, meaningless emails from strangers.
My favorite so far is a toss up between the guy who plays the harp, likes to juggle and watch anime and the 54 year old who IMed me to ask if I'd Skype with him. Or maybe the guy from India who wanted me to call him so we could talk about a marriage arrangment. If I agreed to stay home and serve him.
No. No thank you.
The sad part is that as a 30 year old, my options are getting slimmer and slimmer. My preferance for no marriages, no kids will soon be impossible to find. Let's not even talk about the height requirement. At least my affinity for Carhart works in my favor up here. If I could find anyone under 40 wearing it.

Accidently X Rated

I think it was Maxim Magazine that used to have this column where people sent in accidental porn(ish) material. Well, somehow my family's Christmas seemed to be full of it. I know everyone says their family is crazy but seriously...
Little Sister got me this very thoughtful gift, The Neckline Slimmer. It was bad enough when brother warned me last year that I was no longer allowed to look down in any photos. Now I get this. So anyway, the "how to" shows a woman with an open mouth, bobbing her head up and down against the resistance of the gadget, big smile in place. Brother In-Law tried to get a video of me doing it before Brother revealed it's a hit on You Tube because it simulates a certain action. Now I can't use the thing without cracking up.


Then there was this. I don't think I need to explain why the jokes were endless. We're sick I tell you.