Went to the bank to finally deposit the 2 paychecks that I've already lost twice. After the bank I made it to my dentist appointment. The one I scheduled all by myself and was 15 minutes early for (who am I?). But things went quickly south when the results came in from Dr. J. A root canal and 2 crowns. WTF, mates? I know I haven't been in awhile but do I have scurvy or something?
Then the front desk lady wrinkled her nose at my out of state cell number. Then she wrinkled her face at my company name. "I haven't heard of that before." Of course the no street address thing was a problem. I started hearing foreign languages as she described the process of getting a referral for the root canal. Something about going somewhere else by China Sea Buffet (food?! I know that!) and then coming back for the crowns while in the meantime holding on to my own x-rays. Flags were raising in my brain. Bells and whistles were going off. 'Do NOT let that woman give you a small envelope of something important' is what my brain was saying. Nodding and smiling is what my face was doing. Then came the insurance mess.
Did you know that a medical card is not a dental card is not a prescription card is not a vision card? But where is the treasure chest for getting myself to the dentist? Things... not. making. sense. Did someone say Chinese food?
My flight instinct wins out over that "figure it out" one every time. Unfortunately, the dentist shares a parking lot with a care home and two taxis loading old folks with wheelchairs in the rain and ice were blocking my exit. I won't go into details but it wasn't pretty. Just don't honk at me when I'm feeling stupid.
Couldn't get this chart out of my head after that.
The post is called "Why I'll Never Be an Adult" from the blog Hyperbole and a Half (their are people out there whose blogs are followed by more than their mother?). While there are many more reasons while I'll never be an adult, I'm sure that a dentist appointment causing the phrase "I can't do this" to be stuck in my head on repeat for an hour is one of them.I just wanted to get my damn teeth cleaned but that didn't even happen. DebDeb so confused...SYSTEM FAILURE.
3 comments:
It will be okay Deb-do. one thing at a time. Make a list, write it in a planner, stick it on the fridge. Little reminders go a long way. An whoever said "I can't wait to grow up" must have had a personal assistant to do all the grown-up stuff. An back to the list thing if you make a list and then cross things off as you go along I swear you will feel like the rock star of adults..
I have your appt scheduled for Friday, Dec 17 @ 8:30am. Here you will get a cleaning, an appropriate exam, xrays (that you don't have to hang onto)and an appropriate Diagnosis. I PROMISE!
Please remember to put that other xray in the mail to me. Do you remember our address? See you soon, only 21 or 22 days til you are home! YEAH!!All our love Ananamom and Ananadad!
What?! Why do the out of towners always get the appointments? I have a cavity that every so often gets in the way of my candy craving. Where is my appointment?
BTW HILLARIOUS! and yes something small and important should NEVER be in your posession.
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